It was 1987. My future brother-in-law, still in high school himself, showed up at my front door. His family home had caught fire and he needed to borrow some clothes. Even as a teenager I somehow realized the significance of losing everything and so I asked about the pictures and memories. His response has stayed with me throughout the years. Though devastating, life was made to live looking forward as opposed to backward.
I wonder if my brother-in-law realized how significant his words were?
We, each of us, have one life to live and it should be lived looking forward into the future and not lived looking back into the past.
The new year is a natural time to evaluate life and the new opportunities we have in front of us as well as the chance to leave things that should be left in the past, in the past.
In ancient mythology, the symbolism of the Phoenix dies and is immediately reborn. Legends tell us that a magical bird lives for several years before dying by bursting into flames only to then be reborn from the ashes, to start a new, long life full of opportunity. Like the Phoenix, it’s our responsibility to arise from the ashes of our past and to create a new future for ourselves.
WARNING: Leaving your past in the past is significantly different than walking away from your responsibilities and burning bridges that you’ll later wish to cross again. Burning bridges is taking people for granted and demeaning their value in our lives. Setting your past on fire is about letting go of the things that have a negative hold upon you.
If you’re the bridge that someone burned, then perhaps it’s time to leave your past behind? Perhaps it’s time for you to stop carrying that story with you and lay it down? Take every part of it and toss it into a pile to set on fire. Take all of the bitterness, all of the pain, all of the self-doubt and burn it away.
I know that some of you hang on to that bitterness, pain and self-doubt because you’re hoping that the one who burned your bridge will someday pay for the pain that they’ve caused you. Realize that they are paying for it. No one gets to ride for free. You may not ever see it but know that each of us has lessons that we are to learn and each of us will encounter opportunities to learn those lessons. Each of us will walk through the fire over and over until we learn those lessons. Your anger, your pain, your narrative you replay over and over for all to hear WILL NOT teach them their lessons. Just know that their time is coming. Their lesson will come in ways that they can’t predict and that you can’t ever imagine.
So, as you move into 2020, I’m challenging you to rise above your past, set your past on fire and create the year you were meant to create.
Looking at the areas in my life - faith, family, friends, finance and fitness - which I’ve named “Code5”, I’ve asked myself what is it that I want to accomplish in each of those areas. But more than that, what baggage am I carrying into the new year in each area of my Code5 that I don’t have time to dwell on so I can do more; be more. As a result, I’ve ignited a fire within me that burnt my past and burns for my future.
So I’ll ask you now, what areas in your Code5 do you need to set on fire to burn the past and fuel the future? Now’s your chance to set new, empowering goals to have the best 2020 that you can. It’s your turn.
Save nothing for the next life.